There’s a quiet myth that hums in the background of modern motherhood. You’ll find it stitched into baby shower cards, whispered in well-meaning advice, and sprinkled generously across Instagram captions:
“Enjoy every moment. It goes by so fast.”
But here’s the truth no one says out loud: some moments in motherhood are really hard to enjoy. Like the 2AM wake-ups that feel like jet lag, except you never get to land. Or the afternoons where your body feels touched-out, your brain is fried, and your patience is hanging by a thread.
If you’ve ever looked at your baby and thought, “Why does everyone else seem to love this more than I do?” — this blog is for you.
The Brain, the Body, and the Hormone Storm
After childbirth, your brain goes through a neurological renovation. Oxytocin — the bonding hormone — floods your system, helping you feel close to your baby. At the same time, your amygdala, the brain’s emotional alert system, becomes hypersensitive to your baby’s cues. That’s why even the faintest whimper at 3AM can jolt you awake like a fire alarm.
Meanwhile, your prefrontal cortex — the part of your brain responsible for problem-solving, logic, and emotional regulation — is running on sleep fumes and caffeine. And when you layer on the societal pressure to “bounce back,” unrealistic expectations of joy, and a lack of systemic support?
You’ve got a perfect storm for burnout, guilt, and emotional overload.
But here's the thing: you’re not broken. You’re human.
You Can Love Your Child Without Loving Every Moment
Let’s normalize this: you can be completely devoted to your child and still find motherhood exhausting, boring, overwhelming, or just plain hard. That doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re telling the truth.
Psychiatrist Dr. Alexandra Sacks coined the term “matrescence” — a word to describe the emotional, physical, and psychological transformation a woman undergoes when she becomes a mother. It’s like adolescence: messy, confusing, powerful.
This is not a crisis. It’s a metamorphosis.
What Helps? (Besides More Sleep, Obviously)
1. Ditch the “perfect mom” myth.
Comparison is the thief of joy — and Instagram is its favorite playground. What you see online is curated. Real motherhood is messy, hilarious, sacred, chaotic, and deeply beautiful — sometimes all within the same 15 minutes.
2. Name what you’re feeling.
Research shows that naming emotions — a process called emotional granularity — actually reduces their intensity. Say it out loud or write it down:
● “I’m overstimulated and need space.”
● “I’m grateful and also tired.”
● “I feel lonely, even though I’m never alone.”
Feelings lose their power when they’re named.
3. Ask for help. Then accept it.
You weren’t meant to do this alone. Let someone hold the baby while you take a nap, stare out the window, or scroll memes without guilt.
4. Remember: you are still you.
Becoming a mother doesn’t erase you — it expands you. It’s okay to miss your old life. It’s okay to want more than survival. Wanting joy for yourself doesn’t mean you love your child any less. It means you love yourself, too.
A Loving Reminder
You don’t have to love every moment. You just have to show up — tired eyes, messy bun, full heart.
Motherhood doesn’t need your perfection.
It needs your presence.
Your softness.
Your realness.
And your love — exactly as it is.
Supporting Facts:
● Matrescence is a term introduced by Dr. Dana Raphael and later explored in depth by Dr. Alexandra Sacks. It refers to the complex identity shift women experience after becoming mothers.
● Studies show that emotional labelling helps reduce activity in the amygdala and increases regulation from the prefrontal cortex. (Lieberman et al., 2007)
● Oxytocin and amygdala sensitivity are known neurological responses in postpartum mothers to facilitate bonding and responsiveness (Kim et al., 2010).