A lovey may look like a small comforter or soft toy, but for a little one it can become a very big part of the day. It is the familiar fabric they reach for in the car, cuddle after a busy playdate, or hold close while winding down for bed. Knowing how to choose a lovey means looking beyond the cute face and choosing one that feels safe, practical and genuinely comforting for your child.
The right lovey will not magically solve every rough bedtime, teething day or early wake-up. What it can do is give your baby or toddler a familiar sensory cue - something soft, recognisable and reassuring that supports the calming routines you are already building.
Start with your child’s age and stage
A newborn does not need a lovey in the same way a curious toddler does. In the first months, babies are still becoming familiar with your voice, touch and daily rhythm. A soft comforter can be used during supervised cuddles, pram walks or feeding time, helping them associate its feel with calm connection.
For sleep, always follow current Australian safe sleep guidance. Keep soft toys, comforters, loose bedding and other items out of a young baby’s sleep space. A cot should remain clear for babies who are not yet developmentally ready for these items. If you are unsure what is suitable for your child’s age or sleeping arrangement, speak with your child health nurse and check current Red Nose advice.
As babies become more mobile and develop stronger grasping skills, many begin to enjoy holding and exploring a small comforter during awake, supervised time. Toddlers often get the most from a lovey because they can actively seek it out as part of a predictable transition: leaving childcare, getting into the car, settling for a nap or preparing for bed.
How to choose a lovey that feels right
The best lovey is usually simple. It should be easy for little hands to hold, pleasant against sensitive skin and familiar enough to become part of everyday life. A very large plush toy can be adorable on a nursery shelf but awkward for a baby to carry. A tiny comforter with an easy-to-grip corner, soft body or small character head is often more useful.
Think about how your child likes to soothe themselves. Some children rub soft tags or fabric between their fingers. Others cuddle a plush character against their cheek. A lovey with varied but gentle textures can give them something comforting to touch without becoming overly stimulating right before rest.
Colour can matter, too. Babies are drawn to clear visual contrast while their eyesight is still developing. High-contrast details can make a comforter more engaging during supervised play, while a friendly, familiar character gives toddlers a sense of connection. There is no need to choose the most colourful option in the shop, though. For a bedtime companion, soft sensory comfort matters more than visual excitement.
Choose softness, but check the construction
A lovey should feel lovely against your child’s face and hands, but softness alone is not the whole story. Check that seams are securely stitched, embellishments are firmly attached and there are no loose parts that could come away with enthusiastic chewing, pulling or washing.
Avoid comforters with long cords, ribbons, detachable accessories or hard pieces that do not belong in the hands of a young child. If a lovey includes an interactive feature, make sure it is designed for children, simple to operate and used according to the manufacturer’s age and safety instructions.
For many families, a machine-washable lovey is not a nice extra - it is essential. Between dribble, snacks, pram drops and the mysterious messes of toddlerhood, a favourite comforter will need regular washing. Look for a design that can handle real family life without losing its softness or shape.
Consider where the lovey will go
Most loveys do far more than sit in a cot. They come to the supermarket, grandparents’ place, daycare, appointments and holidays. That is why size and portability deserve a proper look before you buy.
A practical lovey should fit easily in the nappy bag and be light enough for your child to carry. It should not take up half the pram basket or become a hassle every time you leave the house. A smaller comforter is also easier to keep close during a cuddle, tuck into your hand while feeding or offer after an upsetting moment.
If your child is often unsettled by unfamiliar places, bringing the same lovey along can help create a thread of familiarity. It will not replace their usual routine, but a familiar texture and scent can make a new environment feel less overwhelming. This is particularly helpful for travel, childcare transitions and stays away from home.
A sound feature can support your settling routine
Some loveys are purely soft comforters. Others combine a cuddly character with a removable sound machine that plays soothing sounds such as white noise, heartbeat-inspired audio or lullabies. The choice depends on what would make life easier for your family.
A sound-equipped lovey can be especially useful when you are creating a consistent wind-down cue. The same gentle sound played during a supervised cuddle, quiet time or bedtime routine can signal that it is time to slow down. It may also be handy when household noise, visitors or travel makes settling more challenging.
Look for controls that are straightforward enough for tired parents and, as your child grows, simple enough for a toddler to understand with your help. A removable sound box is practical because it allows the plush companion to be washed separately. Keep sound at a gentle volume, use the product as directed and remember that it is one supportive tool, not a substitute for safe sleep practices or responsive care.
Love by EMI comforters are designed around this balance of cuddly comfort and practical soothing support, with removable sound machines and easy-care features for the messier moments of family life.
Think ahead, but do not overthink it
It is tempting to hunt for the one perfect lovey your child will adore forever. In reality, children have their own opinions. The comforter you carefully choose may become a much-loved sidekick, or they may form an attachment to a different one altogether. Both are completely normal.
Choose a lovey you are happy to see often, wash frequently and pack everywhere. Neutral or timeless designs can grow with your child, while a character they recognise may make the comforter feel more personal. The best option is one that fits your family’s routine rather than creating another thing to manage.
It can also help to have a second identical lovey once a favourite is clearly established. This is not about tricking your child. It is about avoiding a full-house search at 6 pm when the original has disappeared behind the lounge or been left in the back seat of the ute. Rotate the two from time to time so both feel familiar, and wash them in the same gentle detergent where possible.
Help the lovey become a comforting cue
A lovey earns its special place through repetition, not by being handed over once. Introduce it during calm, connected moments: a cuddle after a feed, a story before a nap, quiet time on the couch or a familiar song before you leave the house.
Use the same simple language each time. You might say, “Here’s your comforter, it’s time to have a rest,” or “Let’s bring your friend in the car.” Over time, that predictable pairing can help your child understand what comes next. For toddlers, the lovey can also offer a gentle bridge when they are upset but not ready for a big conversation.
Try not to turn it into a source of pressure. If your baby ignores it, that is fine. If your toddler wants it constantly for a few weeks, that can be normal too. Offer it as comfort, then let their attachment develop at its own pace.
A well-chosen lovey is not just a sweet addition to the nursery. It is a small, washable piece of familiarity your child can hold when the day feels big - and sometimes that is exactly what both of you need.