Note: Whilst we will never tell you how to Parent we do recommend to please always follow Red Nose Safe Sleep Guidelines including no objects in the sleep zone until 12 months or older.
A lovey can become the thing your child reaches for when they are tired, overwhelmed or trying to settle in a new place. That is exactly why so many parents ask how to use lovey safely - because comfort matters, but safe sleep always comes first.
The tricky part is that a lovey is not used the same way at every age. What feels soothing for a toddler is not automatically suitable for a newborn, and that distinction matters more than any cute bedtime routine. If you are introducing a comforter, the safest approach is to think in stages: your baby’s age, their sleep space, and whether the lovey is being used for supervised comfort or left with them for sleep.
How to use lovey safely from newborn to toddler
For newborns and young babies, a lovey should be treated as a supervised comfort item, not a sleep essential inside the cot. If your baby is dozing in a bassinet or cot, the sleep space should stay clear. That means no loose blankets, pillows, bumpers or soft toys, including comforters.
At this stage, a lovey can still be useful. You might hold it during a cuddle, use it while feeding, or keep it nearby during supervised settling so it starts to become a familiar part of your baby’s wind-down routine. Some parents also keep the lovey close during contact naps or pram walks when they are actively watching their baby. The key is that it is being used with you, not left loose in an unsupervised sleep space.
As babies get older, parents often feel a bit of tension between wanting to build attachment to a comfort item and wanting to keep to safer sleep guidance. That tension is normal. The safest way through it is to separate the comfort ritual from the actual sleep environment until your child is developmentally ready.
For older babies and toddlers, a lovey often becomes much more practical because they can seek it out, hold it, reposition it and use it consistently as part of self-settling. Even then, it helps to keep the item lightweight, simple and easy for little hands to manage.
Safe sleep comes before routine
If there is one rule worth holding onto, it is this: the lovey should never compromise a safe sleep setup.
A clear cot remains the starting point, especially in the early months. Parents are often told to create cosy spaces, but safe sleep can look surprisingly plain. That is not a bad thing. A firm mattress, fitted sheet and uncluttered sleep area give your baby the safest base. The lovey can still play a role before sleep, after sleep or during supervised soothing.
This matters because routines are powerful. If your baby begins to associate a lovey with calm, that can be genuinely helpful at bedtime, during naps and while travelling. But the association should be built in a way that respects their developmental stage, not rushed just because the routine is working.
When is a lovey appropriate?
This is where parents often want a single age answer, but it depends on your child, their sleep setup and whether the use is supervised.
For younger babies, it is best to use a lovey during awake windows, cuddles, feeds and supervised winding down. Let them see it, touch it and start to connect it with comfort, without relying on it as a loose item in the cot.
As your child gets older and more mobile, many families begin using a lovey as a regular sleep cue. By then, the comfort aspect can be especially useful during regressions, daycare transitions, illness or travel. If your toddler wakes overnight and reaches for the same familiar comforter each time, that consistency can make resettling easier and less disruptive for everyone.
If you are unsure, it is sensible to follow current Australian safe sleep guidance and speak with your health professional if you want advice specific to your child.
Choosing a lovey that is easier to use safely
Not all comforters are created equal. Some are oversized, heavily padded or loaded with decorative extras that make them less practical for daily sleep routines.
A good lovey for family life is soft but not bulky, simple enough to wash often, and easy for your child to hold without fuss. Lightweight designs tend to work better because they are easier to pack for pram naps, daycare and overnight stays, and they feel less overwhelming for little ones.
It also helps if any extra components are designed with real-world parenting in mind. If a toy includes a removable sound box, for example, that feature gives you flexibility. You can use soothing sounds as part of the settling routine, then remove the component for washing or for the sleep setup you are using. That kind of practical design is one reason parents gravitate towards products that do more than just look cute.
Love by EMI has built much of its range around that balance - comfort, familiarity and soothing support, with features that fit into everyday routines rather than adding more bedtime guesswork.
How to introduce a lovey safely
Start outside the cot and outside pressure. A lovey works best when it becomes familiar gradually, not when it is suddenly expected to solve every bedtime struggle.
Use it during calm moments first. Offer it during a feed, while reading a short book, during a cuddle before sleep, or in the car when your child is already relaxed. Repetition matters more than intensity. If the lovey keeps turning up in safe, comforting moments, your child is more likely to connect it with feeling settled.
Once that association builds, make it part of the same routine each day. For example, pyjamas, cuddles, white noise, lovey, bed. Children respond well to predictable order, and parents often find that a repeatable sequence reduces bedtime resistance over time.
If your child is not interested straight away, that does not mean the lovey is a fail. Some babies latch onto a comfort item instantly. Others take weeks. The goal is familiarity, not forcing attachment.
Common mistakes parents make
The most common mistake is using a lovey too early as an unsupervised sleep item because it seems to help the baby drift off. That can feel tempting after a rough night, especially if your baby settles faster with something soft nearby. But short-term ease is not worth undermining safer sleep habits.
Another mistake is choosing a comforter with too many features all at once. Bright lights, chunky attachments or fiddly parts can overstimulate some children instead of soothing them. A lovey should make bedtime feel simpler, not busier.
There is also the practical side. If a lovey cannot be washed easily, it becomes harder to use consistently. Comfort items get dragged through pram rides, daycare bags, snack time and sick days. Washability is not a bonus. It is part of whether the product works for real family life.
How to use lovey safely for naps, travel and daycare
A lovey often proves its value most when life is not perfectly on schedule. Day naps in the pram, sleep at Nan’s place, daycare drop-off and holiday disruptions can all unsettle children who normally sleep well at home.
That is where a familiar comfort item can help bridge the gap between one environment and another. The smell, texture and routine stay the same even when the room does not. For toddlers especially, this can soften transitions and make unfamiliar sleep settings feel less like a battle.
For naps and travel, the same age and safety rules still apply. Use the lovey as part of settling, but keep your sleep setup appropriate to your child’s stage. If your child is old enough to use it as an ongoing comfort item, keeping a spare can also save tears when one is in the wash or left behind.
At daycare, a lovey can become a reassuring little piece of home. Just make sure it is clearly labelled and simple for carers to manage. The easier it is to recognise, wash and return, the more likely it is to stay a helpful routine rather than becoming one more thing to track down at pick-up.
A lovey should support, not replace, your routine
The best comforters do not perform miracles on their own. They work because they become part of a bigger pattern your child can trust. That might include dim lights, a feed, a short song, gentle white noise and a consistent bedtime.
If your little one is overtired, unwell or going through a developmental leap, a lovey will not erase that. What it can do is add one familiar cue that says, this is the time to slow down and feel safe. For many families, that small cue makes a meaningful difference.
If you are wondering whether you are getting it right, keep it simple. Follow safe sleep guidance, introduce the lovey gradually, and let comfort build through repetition rather than rush. The gentlest routines are often the ones that stick - and the safest ones are the routines you can trust, even on the hard nights.